Tag: kindness

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Musings: authenticity

In an earlier post, I referred to the yogic process of character building using the yamas and niyamas. I find myself thinking again and again about this matter.

If you want to be authentic, lead an authentic life.
When no one else is looking is the time to do right
I want to be more like the ocean
No talking and all action.

I wrote those lines some ten years ago.  Well, the last two are from the Jane’s Addiction song “Ocean Song”.  I have been contemplating this issue for a long time, it seems.  Perhaps this is because I am a person who has struggled to harmonize my inner and outer lives. I think that we all have difficulty, from time to time, being who we really are, all of the time.  Actually, our society often frowns upon honesty.  Artifice is the order of the day, as is syncophancy.  Although we also swing wildly to the other side, with the trend of unhinged cyber-bullying seeing billious backhanders being left all over blogland.
I think that authenticity is saying what you mean, honestly, but not hurtfully.  Treading the middle path between necessary truth and painful reality.  Not mincing words, but never lying either.  I always enjoy Rob Breszny’s Horoscopes, and this week’s was no exception:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): *Sant* is a Hindi word that comes from a
Sanskrit verb meaning “to be good” and “to be real.” Personally, I know a
lot of people who are either real or good. But few are both. The good
ones tend to be overly polite, and the real ones don’t put a high priority
on being nice. So here’s your assignment, Gemini: to be good and real; to
have compassionate intentions even as you conduct yourself with a high
degree of authenticity; to bestow blessings everywhere you go while at
the same time being honest and clear and deep. According to my reading
of the astrological omens, you have the power to pull off this strenuous
feat.

To be good and real.  To be good AND real.  To be GOOD and REAL.  Challenging, eh?  I trend towards real and not very nice.  My critical mind and built-in idealism keep me constantly disappointed.  ha!  There, I said it. I like to think that I keep standards up – I certainly keep people on their toes, as all critical people do.  But, sometimes it’s not very comfortable to be constantly on one’s toes!  But, my critical mind interjects, comfort zones are dangerous places!  We need to work our boundaries in order to grow.  Yes, replies my tolerant, nice mind, but not everyone wants to grow.  But!  interjects critical mind again, they’re just lazy then!  ARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH!  You see, the internal dialogue continues.
I believe that I should just follow another one of my Rachelistic proverbs “Stop judging, start loving.”  But, perhaps it is better to amend that and say “Judge lovingly, critique gently. “
Authenticity and honesty don’t need to preclude kindness.  In fact, the message is much more likely to be heard when delivered with soft words that don’t wound.  Maybe it’s pride and hurry that makes it come out harshly.  Maybe it’s my own emotional attachment to the idea of changing the world.  Change comes slowly and is already in progress.

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The Human Revolution

The question has been there forever.  What can I do to make the world a better place?  The answer is simple:  Human Revolution.
I first heard this term used as the title of a book by Daisaku Ikeda of the Soka Gokkai International.  This international Buddhist organization, with origins in Japan, use rapid mantra chant as their main tool of transformation. I joined the SGI in London and chanted Nam Myoho Renge Kyo with intent for about a year and a half.  But, like everything organizational, I grew disillusioned with the, erm, organization, and took my search upon new roads.  Coming full circle twelve years later, I uplift myself with Sanskrit mantra, carrying on the transformation.
Like most of us, my teenage mind was inquiring and doubtful of the status quo.  I took to protesting, letter writing, boycotting, even some direct action-lite.  But, again, I grew disillusioned with the way that individual good intentions seemed to get lost when the masses convened.  Really, peaceful anarchist punks who seem to always been raising their fists?  No, thanks.
So, the question has been there for a long time.  But the answer took its time to coalesce.  Nowadays, I meditate upon the fact that only by beginning with ourselves can we change the world around us. Also, we need to be humble enough to recognize that we can’t change the whole world.  Too many youthful flowers turn into mid-20’s rot when, disillusioned, we give up entirely and sit upon our sofas, waiting for the end.
I think that what we need to learn is patience and humility.  Oh yes, and we have to have faith.  I have seen through personal experience that we really can begin to take change out of the personal realm and into the world when we integrate ourselves so completely as to become completely sincere and transparent.  It’s hard- I’m not patting my back here.  But I do know that what I transmit in my yoga classes, and in my life (I hope) is a sincere belief in the finer qualities of the human being.  When we begin to manifest our True Nature, our Purusha, we grow calm, compassionate and loving.  With those qualities, we share smiles when there are only frowns.  We hug warmly when there might otherwise be only a perfunctory “dos besos” (two kisses).  And, most importantly, we begin to share our selves, our wealth, open our homes to and generally offer and be prepared for true deep connection with others.  This is the Human Revolution:  we care for and prepare ourselves to be sane, reasonable, non-judging, generous and accepting.  With these qualities, we touch lives.  At no point are we on any pedestals, nor do we offer ourselves congratulations.  We just find the inner joy, radiate it.  That is the reward.
I really don’t know much.  But this I know:  The real revolution begins within.